Tag: Kind Communication

“Well, I Didn’t Mean It Like That…” – by Kind Communication

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Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2016/04/18/intention-v-impact/ “Well, I didn’t mean it like that…” Sometimes you, and I, try to apologize for the impact our words have on others by trying to explain the intention behind them. Certainly sometimes explaining our intention is helpful in terms of clearing up a misunderstanding.  But have you ever tried to explain your intention and met with even more hurt, anger, resentment, and shut down?  That’s because explaining your intention isn’t an effective […]

What Surrounds You Shapes You – by Kind Communication

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Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2016/04/04/what-surrounds-you-shapes-you/ I saw this powerful PSA on Facebook the other day: Powerful, right? It’s true, children are sponges.  Whatever their parents (& peers) say and do, they absorb it and it shapes how they act.  And those models stay there for a long time. I am not a parent, and so I have no business dispensing parenting advice.  So I won’t.  But I do want to say to all you adults, that the […]

Observing Yourself – by Kind Communication

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Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2016/03/20/observing-yourself/ In Compassionate Communication there are five major skills.  One of them is called “observation”.  At first, I thought this skill was all about noticing and talking about what you literally see.  So instead of “this room is a mess” saying “I see a couple of dirty dishes on the table, and a bunch of books all over the couch”. But the skill of “observation” also goes much deeper than this.  The skill […]

The Limits of Communication… And What You Can Do About Them – by Kind Communication

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Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2016/02/21/the-limits-of-communication-and-what-you-can-do-about-them/ Some people come to my workshops, and say:  “Hey, this stuff is great, but doesn’t this stuff only work as long as the other person is also willing to communicate with compassion and honesty?” And my answer is always something like: “Yeah…sorta.  But even if the other person doesn’t want to engage in honest and compassionate dialogue, these tools can still help you in that situation.” First, I am going to explain […]

Blaming – by Kind Communication

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Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2016/02/06/blaming/ I want to share this fun cartoon of a small snippet of a Brene Brown talk.  The cartoon is about blaming.  Blaming is pointing the finger and identifying who or what is responsible when something goes wrong. Blaming is an attractive activity.  If I can figure out who or what is responsible for my plans being ruined, my day being thrown off, or for a terrible tragedy then I can establish a […]

Understanding Privilege – by Kind Communication

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Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2016/01/25/understanding-privilege/ I have been born with a tremendous amount of privilege.  I am a straight white male, who grew up in an upper middle-class, Christian home.  All of these different accidental properties of my identity and upbringing carry with them unearned advantages.  These unearned advantages are called “privilege”.  I do not feel guilty about this, nor should I.  Part of the very definition of “privilege” is “unearned”.  It is merely an accident, chance, […]

Empathizing with Your Shadow Side – by Kind Communication

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Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2016/01/04/empathizing-with-your-shadow-side/ We all have a shadow side.  A side of you that you don’t want others to see or notice.  I know I have a shadow side.  There are opinions, feelings, and parts of my personality which I don’t want other people to see.  And it’s not just that I don’t want other people to see them, I also judge those parts of myself as “wrong”, “bad”, or “deficient” Do you know what […]

Celebration – by Kind Communication

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Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2015/12/14/celebration/ It is important to regularly celebrate.  Now that may sound simple, trite, and obvious; however, do you do it?  I know that you celebrate when something big and exciting happens.  You celebrated when you graduated from school.  When you got a new job.  When you met someone that you love.  But did you celebrate when after a long day of stress and obligations you got to finally sit and rest?  Did you […]

Say What You Mean, Not What You Fear – by Kind Communication

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Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2015/11/30/say-what-you-mean-not-what-you-fear/ I saw a funny cartoon about communication posted on a friend’s Facebook wall.  It’s called If You Want to Say Thank You, Don’t Say Sorry. This cartoon caught my attention, not only because it has to do with communication, but because I used to be notorious for saying “sorry” all…the…time!  It was my go to word, whenever there was a moment of vulnerability, openness, and realness out would pop the word “sorry”.  […]

Paris – by Kind Communication

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Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2015/11/16/paris-2/ I have nothing profound to say.  I simply wish to say:  let’s grieve, and let’s have empathy. Tragedies have occurred and continue to occur around us.  There are the events in Paris.  There are the events in Beirut.  Both deserve to be grieved.  And so let’s grieve.  Grieving isn’t just tears, it is also the expression of anger, confusion, doubt, uncertainty.  It is the expression of all our pain as we witness […]

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