Why Do You Do What You Do? – by Kind Communication

Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2014/05/04/why-do-you-do-what-you-do/

When you give your partner a kiss…when you offer to help a friend move furniture…when you engage in a friendly conversation with a stranger on a bus…when you start teaching communication classes in your local community…why do you do it?

Why do you do the things you do?

There are lots of answers to this question.  And those answers may be complex and vary from one activity to the next.  But I’d like to invite you to investigate your more fundamental motivations.  We all have something deep down that’s driving us.  Some of us are seeking approval, others are trying to be a “good” person, and yet others are just trying to be their most authentic, truest, self.  Which is yours?

If you’re doing it for approval, then you’re probably thinking to yourself “what does this person think of me?”  I used to seek approval in my relationships.  I needed my partner to give me their approval for me to be content.  When I was trying to make a decision I would ask myself “what would she want me to say or do?”  That’s the indication if the motivation behind your actions is to seek approval.  If when you’re trying to make a decision the deciding factor is “what would he/she/they want me to do?”

If you’re doing it to be a “good” person, then you’re probably thinking to yourself “was that the right thing to do?”  When I tell myself that there is a “right” thing to do and a “wrong” thing to do, I really get myself in a bind.  I’ll judge myself; put myself down, for just wanting to do the “wrong” thing.  I constantly see myself as “not good enough” because I don’t always do the “right” thing.  Is any of this sounding familiar?  Then you’re motivation behind your actions may be to be a “good” person.  To emulate some ideal standard of doing it “right”.

If you’re doing it to be your most authentic, truest, self, then you’re probably thinking to yourself “is this deeply satisfying?”  When your motivation is to express your authentic self there doesn’t need to be any guess work about what others will approve of or what’s “right or wrong”.  You only have to listen to what is deeply satisfying to yourself.  Does this activity give you deep satisfying joy?  Or does it feel like drudgery?  Is it a temporary pleasure that leaves you with an uncomfortable craving for more?

Our motivations are always complex things.  But this last option, wanting to just express your truest self, makes it much simpler.  Yes, I like to receive approval.  Yes, I like to feel like I’m a “good” person.  But with both of those, I find that they are temporary pleasures that leave me craving for more.  When my motivation is to be accepted, I’m never accepted enough because there are always new people whom I have to win approval from.  When my motivation is to be “good”, I’m never “good” enough because there is always that moment when I don’t do the “right” thing.  But when my motivation is to express my truest self, then I can be content because I can rest assured that I’ve done that, no matter what the outcome.

Why do you do what you do?

KindCommunication.org is a project by a close friend of Wiki World Order, Alex Leach. WWO fully supports the study, practice, and teaching of non-violent communication as one of the core solutions which already exists.

Tragedy and Hope Media Mail / This Week’s Publications 4.28.2014

Re-posted from the amazing Tragedy and Hope Community, my favorite source for alternative thought and information in the world. Please check it out, sign up, participate, and support today!
TragedyAndHope.ning.com/group/t-h-media-mail-archive/forum/topics/tragedy-and-hope-media-mail-this-week-s-publications-4-28-2014

(Audio) Peace Revolution episode #82: The British Elephant in the American Living Room
 
(Video) Gnostic Media episode #199: Eric Penn – “Manufactured Murder: Son of a Serial Killer” 

(Audio) Gnostic Media episode #198: An Interview with Dave McGowan, pt. 2 – “The CIA and the Music of Laurel Canyon – The Magic Carpet Ride”

(Video) James Corbett & James Evan Pilato: New World Next Week – Justifying Murder, Net No-trality, #myNYPD
(Audio) James Corbett Report: The Power Hour: Of Boogeymen and Billionaires

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Roger Ver Advocates Voluntaryism (and Bitcoin)

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Aileen Mioko Smith on the Japanese Reactor Restarts

(Audio) James Corbett FLNWO # 14: Citizen Kane

(Audio) The Corbett Report: The Well-Read Anarchist #005 – “What is Property?” by Pierre-Joseph Proudhon – Chapter Three

(Audio) Media Monarchy: @PumpUpThaVolume: Episode108 – Keep On Shining
(Audio) Media Monarchy: Interview w/ Paul Brannigan of ‘Birth School Metallica Death’
 
(Audio) School Sucks episode #281: Ben Stone (2 of 2): Diminishing the Market Demand For Government

(Audio) School Sucks episode Podcast #280: Autonomy Through Agorism (Part 1) – Why Permaculture?

(Audio) School Sucks Project: Education Freedom Report 04-22-14: Michael Strong’s Startup Learning, Waldorf Spotlight

(Audio) The Meria Heller Show: “Blood & Guts” with Jack Blood

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Dale Hurd – Sweden: No Diversity in Politics and Media

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Robert Morningstar - Dyatlov Pass UFO incident, The Rise of International Communism &a…

(Audio) Red Ice Radio 3Fourteen: M.K. Lords - Agorism, Bitcoin, Libertarianism vs. Anarchism

Tragedy and Hope Media Mail / This Week’s Publications 4.21.2014

Re-posted from the amazing Tragedy and Hope Community, my favorite source for alternative thought and information in the world. Please check it out, sign up, participate, and support today!
TragedyAndHope.ning.com/group/t-h-media-mail-archive/forum/topics/tragedy-and-hope-media-mail-this-week-s-publications-4-21-2014

(Audio) Peace Revolution episode #82: The British Elephant in the American Living Room
 
(Video) Gnostic Media episode #199: Eric Penn – “Manufactured Murder: Son of a Serial Killer” 

(Audio) Gnostic Media episode #198: An Interview with Dave McGowan, pt. 2 – “The CIA and the Music of Laurel Canyon – The Magic Carpet Ride”

(Video) James Corbett & James Evan Pilato: New World Next Week – Crowdsourcing Surveillance, Mainstream Conspiracies, No GMO Russia

(Video) James Corbett for BoilingFrogsPost: Medicated to Death: SSRIs and Mass Killings

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Julie Wood Discusses SSRI Stories

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Dr. David Healy on SSRIs and Violent Behaviour

(Video) James Corbett GRTV Backgrounder report: Cold War 2.0 and the Threat of Nuclear Warfare

(Video) The Corbett Report – BFP Roundtable #05: “New” Cold War, Same Old Tricks

(Video) James Corbett & James Evan Pilato: New World Next Week – More Good News, Seawater Fuel, Blood Moon Apocalypse

(Video) James Corbett & James Evan Pilato: Good News Next Week

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Dr. Meryl Nass Exposes the Anthrax Cover Up

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Denis Rancourt Dissects the Tort of Defamation

(Audio) Media Monarchy: @PumpUpThaVolume: Episode107 – Pressure
(Audio) Media Monarchy: @PumpUpThaVolume: Episode106 – Listen
 
(Audio) School Sucks episode #279: Some Abolitionists Thought Slaves Were Too…Free? (with Thaddeus Rus…

(Audio) School Sucks episode #278: Ben Stone (1 of 2): Create A Market Demand For Liberty

(Audio) School Sucks episode #277: Michael Dean Didn’t Like School, and Vice Versa

(Audio) School Sucks episode #276: Nurturing A Child’s Self-Esteem (The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem Part 7

(Audio) The Meria Heller Show: “Blood & Guts” with Jack Blood

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Ricardo Duchesne – The Uniqueness of Western Civilization & Multicultural Madness

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Chip Tatum & Ole Dammegård – Pegasus Insider Speaks on CIA Assassinations, Iran-Contra & Dru…

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Ingunn Sigursdatter – Norway: Happiest Country on Earth Myth & Awakening the Norsemen

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Catherine Austin Fitts – Secret Space Program & The Black Budget

(Audio) Red Ice Radio 3Fourteen: Robert Guffey – Cryptoscatology: Conspiracy Theory as Art Form

Vulnerability proceeds Transformation – by Kind Communication

Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2014/04/19/vulnerability-proceeds-transformation/

Vulnerability is the key to liberation and transformation.  Are you scared yet?  It’s an uncomfortable truth.  Few of us really enjoy being vulnerable, either with ourselves or with others.  Because when you’re vulnerable you’re no longer in control of the situation.  When you choose to be vulnerable, you are choosing to not control or manage how you appear to others or to yourself.  You are instead choosing to be completely honest with yourself and others.

Being completely real with yourself or others is very challenging though.  When you think about telling a loved one that you feel hurt or disappointed, you probably feel afraid of being attacked.  You’re scared of being rejected by this person, and losing the relationship, and so you hide your truth.  Allow me to give a short story of how being vulnerable with myself is challenging:

Recently I had been working with someone and I was finding that I was getting really upset in the relationship.  For a while I got by on blaming the other person for this.  I’d tell myself “they’re not committed to the work” and “they aren’t trying hard enough”.  But then suddenly I realized that I had become attached to the belief “I have to help this person heal”.

This was a moment of vulnerability with myself.  I got more real with myself; I was being more honest with myself.  I was angry not because of what this person was or wasn’t doing, I was angry because I believed it was my duty, my obligation, to heal this person.

And of course what followed that moment of vulnerability was a tidal wave of shame.  I suddenly heard in my head “You should know better Alex!  You don’t try to fix or change people.  That doesn’t work, and it only creates resentment.  Isn’t that what you tell your clients?  Why can’t you follow your own advice?  You’re not fit to do this work, and you don’t even practice it.  You’re terrible.”  I felt horrible about myself.

This shame reaction is why most of us don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable with ourselves.  If you’re open and honest with yourself, you may not like what we see and discover, and you might withdraw your love from yourself.  And if I judge, criticize, and put myself down for being attached to trying to fix this person, then won’t all the people reading this blog also judge, criticize, and put me down?  Better to go back to lying to you my reader and to myself: “yeah, it’s totally this other person’s fault that I’m upset.”

But when I allow myself to go back to lying, to controlling and managing how you and I perceive me, then I don’t allow the transformation to occur.  So if I take a few deep breathes and once again admit “I feel like I have to help heal this person”, and this time sit with it, something happens.  A little light goes off in my head.  ”Oh, I don’t have to do that.  Actually that isn’t my responsibility, and it certainly isn’t my obligation.”

And that’s the transformation.  When I was honest with myself about my attachment to “fixing” this other person, the attachment went away.  I saw that I had a choice, and that I could choose to not try to fix them.  That instead I could choose to accept them as they are.  And when I do that, I’m not angry with them anymore.

What are you hiding from others or from yourself?  What could you be more honest about?  Try being more vulnerable about that, and see what transformation occurs for you.

KindCommunication.org is a project by a close friend of Wiki World Order, Alex Leach. WWO fully supports the study, practice, and teaching of non-violent communication as one of the core solutions which already exists.

Tragedy and Hope Media Mail / This Week’s Publications 4.7.2014

Re-posted from the amazing Tragedy and Hope Community, my favorite source for alternative thought and information in the world. Please check it out, sign up, participate, and support today!
TragedyAndHope.ning.com/group/t-h-media-mail-archive/forum/topics/tragedy-and-hope-media-mail-this-week-s-publications-4-07-2014

(Audio) Peace Revolution episode #82: The British Elephant in the American Living Room (here’s the link to Richard’s “History Blueprint” as referenced in PR#82)

(Video) Gnostic Media episode #197: An Interview with Karen Hudes, J.D. – “The World Bank: Centralization and Corruption”

(Video) James Corbett & James Evan Pilato: New World Next Week – Good News Next Week

(Audio) James Corbett for BoilingFrogsPost: Turkey’s False Flag Plan: What you’re not being told

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Sibel Edmonds Breaks Down the Turkish False Flag Leak

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Faraj Muftah Describes the Fall of Libya

(Video) The Corbett Report: James Corbett with Elissa Hawke on Life, the Universe and Everything

(Audio) The Corbett Report: The Power Hour: Nuclear Threats Rising

(Audio) James Corbett with Elijah Johnson of FinanceAndLiberty.com: Global Imperialism and Global Collapse

(Audio) Media Monarchy: Interview w/ Jefferey Jaxen on ‘Divergent’

(Audio) Media Monarchy: @PumpUpThaVolume: #Episode105 – #Nirvana


(Audio) School Sucks episode #275: A Better State of Mind: Introduction to Meditation

(Audio) School Sucks episode #274: Living and Teaching In Turkey – Listener Discussion

(Audio) School Sucks episode #273: The Practice of Living With Integrity (The Six Pillars of Self-Este…

(Audio) The Meria Heller Show: Meria with Catherine Austin Fitts

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Vincent Freeman – Chemtrails Pathogen, Xenobiology & Engineered Bacteria

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Mark Gray – Symbolic Codes & Number Signs of the Missing MH370 Airliner

(Audio) Red Ice Radio 3Fourteen: Jonny Enoch – The War on Kratom & Kratom Truth

The Power of Choice – by Kind Communication

Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2014/04/06/the-power-of-choice/

You choose who you spend time with.  You choose what you spend your time doing.  You choose what you eat, you choose when you sleep.  You choose to feel disappointed when you’ve been stood up, and you choose to feel relieved that you’re not on a date with someone who doesn’t really want to be there.

You probably agree that you have choice about those first examples, how and with whom you spend your time.  But I imagine that you might have been surprised by the last example.  ”I choose to feel disappointed or relieved about being stood up??”

But that is the real power of choice.  You actually have choice in what your experience is like in this moment.  You are already choosing whether you agree and enjoy what I’m writing, or if you disagree and think I’m full of it, or if you’re curious and want to read more.  All of those are options and you are presently choosing one of them.

But that isn’t how we normally think about our experience.  We don’t usually look at our experience as a result of our choices, but rather as a result of something that is happening to us.  And let me go through three reasons why that is.

First, many of you probably experience emotions as a knee jerk, automatic response which you have no control over.  ”It’s just how I feel.”  But your emotions really arise from the combination of your needs or values being met or unmet, as well as the beliefs you hold about the situation.  You get stood up on a date.  You’re desire for connection, fun, and the potential for intimacy are all thwarted.  That’s real.  You also tell yourself a story that this person is a jerk, or that you will never find love.  That’s a story you’re constructing.  If you think your emotions are an automatic response that you have no control over, then begin by gaining more awareness around what stories or beliefs you are holding.  Slow down.  Take time each day or each week to journal about moments where you felt happy or sad.  See if you can identify what needs or desires of yours were met or unmet.  Then see if you can identify the story or belief you have about the situation.

The second thing is that our choices are habit forming.  If I choose to sit at home, eat ice cream, and watch TV every day after work, it becomes a habit.  I start doing it on autopilot.  It then becomes a real struggle for me to undo that habit and head to the gym.  Your choices create a sort of motor memory.  If you find that you have awareness around what is causing your emotions, the needs and the beliefs, but still struggle with making different choices I want to encourage you to have perseverance.  The only way you create a new habit is by repeating a new set of choices.

Finally, some of you may not want to take on the responsibility that comes with the power of choice.  There’s the classic saying “with great power comes great responsibility”.  If I can choose to feel lousy or choose to feel at peace then I have the choice to make my life a living hell or heaven on Earth.  That’s powerful!  And it means you’re responsible, you’re in charge.  If I see my partner as a horrible jerk, that is my choice.  And since it is my choice, then I am responsible for seeing my partner in that way.  And so you must own your own responsibility for your experience.  Owning that responsibility is unnerving.  Instead we like to blame, judge, or stick it on someone else.  But the truth is that the person who is responsible for your experience is you.

I help clients reclaim their power of choice by helping them build their awareness, providing patient, loving, support as they practice new choices, and by helping them own their responsibility in making their choices.  It can be challenging work, but I see how in the end it gives people the power and freedom that they’ve always wanted.

KindCommunication.org is a project by a close friend of Wiki World Order, Alex Leach. WWO fully supports the study, practice, and teaching of non-violent communication as one of the core solutions which already exists.

Tragedy and Hope Media Mail / This Week’s Publications 3.31.2014

Re-posted from the amazing Tragedy and Hope Community, my favorite source for alternative thought and information in the world. Please check it out, sign up, participate, and support today!
TragedyAndHope.ning.com/group/t-h-media-mail-archive/forum/topics/tragedy-and-hope-media-mail-this-week-s-publications-3-31-2014

(Video) Gnostic Media episode #196: An Interview with Will Pangman – “A Trivium Case Study: Bitcoin”

(Video) James Corbett & James Evan Pilato: New World Next Week – Pedophiles, Drugs and Money in the New World Order

(Video) James Corbett for BoilingFrogsPost: Confronting Cognitive Dissonance

(Video) James Corbett & Broc West: The Asia-Pacific Perspective –  Protest Laws, Military Bases, China’s Bin Laden

(Audio) The Corbett Report: James and JoAnne Moriarty Reveal the Truth About the Libyan War

(Audio) The Corbett Report: The Censorship Solution with Michael Dean

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Robbie Martin Recounts the Beheading Hoax Story

(Audio) The Corbett Report: James with Derrick Broze of The Conscious Resistance

(Audio) Media Monarchy: #Geopolitiks: Nile Bowie on Flight 370, Crimea, China and more

(Audio) Media Monarchy: @PumpUpThaVolume: Episode104 – Heavy And Steady


(Audio) School Sucks episode #272 (Supplemental): Brett and Ian’s School Spectacular

(Audio) School Sucks Project: Brett On Declare Your Independence With Ernest Hancock

(Audio) School Sucks Project: Brett on Free Talk Live

(Audio) The Meria Heller Show: Dr.Will Tuttle – The World Peace Diet and the conspiracies in our food

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Patrick Henningsen – Ukraine, Crimea, Russia and the West

(Audio) Red Ice Radio 3Fourteen: Benjamin Shapiro - Primetime Propaganda: The Hollywood Story of How the Left Took Over Your TV

Tragedy and Hope Media Mail / This Week’s Publications 3.24.2014

Re-posted from the amazing Tragedy and Hope Community, my favorite source for alternative thought and information in the world. Please check it out, sign up, participate, and support today!
TragedyAndHope.ning.com/group/t-h-media-mail-archive/forum/topics/tragedy-and-hope-media-mail-this-week-s-publications-3-24-2014

(Audio) Gnostic Media episode #195: An Interview with Michael Dean and Derrick Slopey – “NameCoin and M…

(Audio) Gnostic Media episode #194: An Interview with Adam B. Levine – “Bitcoin and Metacoins – the New…

(Audio) Gnostic Media episode #193: An Interview with Freeman Burt and Dr. Tom – “How to Research: Case…

(Video) James Corbett & James Evan Pilato: New World Next Week – Sunstein Infiltrates, Quakebot LA, GMO Pimps

(Video) The Corbett Report: How to Steal an Airplane: From 9/11 to MH370

(Video) James Corbett & James Evan Pilato: New World Next Week – Missing Plane, Hedge Fund Bets, Between Two Puppets

(Video) The Corbett Report: Pretexts for War: How the public is deceived into fighting

(Video) The Corbett Report: The Asia-Pacific Perspective with Broc West

(Audio) The Corbett Report: The Intelligence-Industrial Complex: James Corbett on ClandesTime

(Audio) Media Monarchy: Ripple Effect: James Evan Pilato on Traditions and Passions

(Audio) Media Monarchy: @PumpUpThaVolume: Episode103 – Joyride

(Audio) Media Monarchy: @PumpUpThaVolume: Episode102 – Secret Message


(Audio) School Sucks episode #271: The Practice of Living Purposefully (The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem…

(Audio) School Sucks episode #270: Book Review – Learn Anything In 20 Hours?

(Audio) School Sucks episode #269: The Shame Debate, With Thaddeus Russell

(Audio) The Meria Heller Show: Dr.Will Tuttle – The World Peace Diet and the conspiracies in our food

(Audio) Red Ice Radio 3Fourteen: Benjamin Shapiro – Primetime Propaganda: The Hollywood Story of How the Left Took Over…

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Mark Weber – Extremist Watch Groups, Culture Clash & Germanophobia

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Sofia Smallstorm – Chemtrails & Pseudo-Life

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Dane Wigington – Geoengineering & Collapse of Civilization

Resolving Conflicts in your Communities: Two Rules of Thumb – by Kind Communication

Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2014/03/23/resolving-conflicts-in-your-communities-two-rules-of-thumb/

We all live in communities of people.  Your community may be your group of friends, or it may be your family, or it may be around some social gathering like a church, sport event, or a social establishment.  And something that comes up for all of us that live in communities is conflict.

So how do you deal with your community’s conflict?  What do you do when you’re friends start fighting?  What do you do when one family member won’t speak with another?  What do you do when your gym buddy wants to exercise with a new gym buddy?

There are two rules of thumb that I use to address this:

Number one: Listen.  We often think we know what the other person wants or is thinking.  But even if we do, there is value in letting the other person share their story.  The other night one of my housemates and I were starting to get into an argument.  He was expressing his view, and I knew where he was going, so I would cut him off for “efficiency” and explain how I saw the world.  I didn’t think I needed to let him express his full thought because I already knew where he was going, and I already had an answer.  Save us five minutes.

But it didn’t work very well.  The more I cut in, the more he dug his heels into his position.  Finally, it dawned on me to stop and listen.  I said “okay, let’s just say you’re right.  What follows from that?”  He then explained where he was going, and low and behold I was “right”.  I had guessed it.  But then something surprising happened.  After I listened to him he changed.  After he’d felt fully expressed and heard he moved.  He suddenly saw the value in what I was saying, and he was even surprised at how he was changing in that moment.

Now I’m not saying that every time we fully listen to someone that they’re going to start agreeing with us.  But I am saying that there was intrinsic value in the listening for my housemate, there was intrinsic value in feeling expressed and heard.  And that experience drew him into deeper connection with me.

Number two: listen for the underlying values.  Often we feel overwhelmed by conflicts in our communities because the opposing sides seem to want drastically different things.  In a group of friends one may want to watch a comedy while another wants to watch a drama.  In families one person thinks this is the way to live, and the other person thinks the exact opposite.  And we feel overwhelmed by this conflict in part because we get stuck at this level of wants instead of listening for the underlying needs.

A quick example of this:  I have two friends who were fighting.  They both ended up at the same party.  One demanded “he has to leave!”  The other replied “I have every right to be here.”  Now of course it seems like they want completely opposite things, and that one has to “win” and the other “lose”.  But once I got them apart from one another, I could listen for the underlying value in what each wanted.  One friend wanted space, peace, and fun.  The other friend wanted respect, autonomy, and also fun.  And with that it became clear.  As long as they didn’t interact at the party, the one friend would have the space and peace she wanted, and the other friend could stay at the party and thus feel respected and autonomous.  And guess what, they both had fun.

Once we live in communities where everyone feels safe to express themselves, and people are secure enough in themselves to listen, we’ll see that conflicts are natural and healthy for our mutual growth.

KindCommunication.org is a project by a close friend of Wiki World Order, Alex Leach. WWO fully supports the study, practice, and teaching of non-violent communication as one of the core solutions which already exists.

Tragedy and Hope Media Mail / This Week’s Publications 3.10.2014

Re-posted from the amazing Tragedy and Hope Community, my favorite source for alternative thought and information in the world. Please check it out, sign up, participate, and support today!
TragedyAndHope.ning.com/group/t-h-media-mail-archive/forum/topics/tragedy-and-hope-media-mail-this-week-s-publications-3-10-2014

(Audio) Peace Revolution episode #81: Self-Confidence vs. Social Engineering
 
(Video) Gnostic Media episode #192: An Interview with Thomas Hunt – “Mad Bitcoins”

(Audio) Gnostic Media: Rebroadcast: Mad Money Machine #8 – “Bitcoin’s Biggest Threats”

(Video) James Corbett & James Evan Pilato: New World Next Week – Osama’s son on trial, RT revolt, IBM turns Watson into chef

(Video) James Corbett for GRTV: Foreign Intervention and the Ukraine Crisis

(Video) The Corbett Report: BFP Roundtable #04 – Why Do People Believe Stupid Things?

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Ryan Dawson Looks for a Third Way in the Ukraine Crisis

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Ukraine and the Shadow of War on The Jack Blood Show

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Uncorking Conspiracy with the Beard World Order

(Audio) Media Monarchy: @PumpUpThaVolume: #Episode101 – #ReadyToGo

(Audio) Media Monarchy: Deadline Live: Jack Blood on Media/Memes

(Audio) School Sucks episode #268: The Practice of Self-Assertiveness (The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem …

(Audio) School Sucks episode #267c: Jeffrey Tucker – Ninety Minutes of Peaceful Chaos (2014 Liberty For…

(Audio) School Sucks Project: Free Talk Live “B-Team” 3-7-14

(Audio) The Meria Heller Show: Paul Armentano / Deputy Director of NORML on legalization of cannabis

(Audio) Red Ice Radio 3Fourteen: Tom Sunic – Metapolitics, Paganism & European Identity

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Brien Foerster & L.A. Marzulli – Paracas Elongated Skull DNA An…

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Marty Leeds – Creation of the English Alphabet & Number Codes i…

Three Ways to Lower your Anxiety – by Kind Communication

Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2014/03/09/three-ways-to-lower-your-anxiety/

Anxiety.

I have a lot of personal experience with this.  Anxiety can come in lots of different forms.  Some can’t fall asleep because their minds won’t quiet down.  Others wake up with their heart pounding and this intense feeling of fear.  Some people go through their whole day with this background noise of fear and being on edge.  And still others are so full of anxiety that they can’t even get out of bed.  I’ve experienced all of these and more.

Of course all of us experience anxiety at one point or another.  But I want to talk about what you can do when you have this unnecessary, irrational anxiety which gets in the way of you enjoying life.  And the good news is there are ways to reduce your anxiety and to live a more peaceful and joyful life.  Let me give you three.

The first is to get into the present moment.  A lot of our anxiety is caused by what I call “future tripping”.  Our minds are feverishly thinking about the future, what might happen (or what will probably happen), instead of just being here in this moment.  For example, earlier this week I had a big meeting for my career.  I was feeling a lot of anxiety about it because I was preoccupied with what might happen.  ”Will it go well?”  ”Will I look like an idiot?”  And then someone reminded me that it wasn’t happening yet, and that right in this moment I was fine and there was nothing I could do about it now.

This is different than “just don’t worry about it”.  ”Just don’t worry about it” doesn’t work because it is a negative statement.  It says stop doing what you’re doing.  But it doesn’t offer you an alternative.  Getting into the present moment is an active process.  You have to actually do something.  Try for a moment to close your eyes and put all your focus on your breath.  Notice how quickly your mind goes to some thought.  And notice what you have to do, what kind of effort it takes, to interrupt that thought and bring your focus back to your breathing.  That’s getting into the present moment.  It’s a skill that we must practice.

The second thing you can do is figure out what you’re really scared of.  Even in generalized, all pervasive anxiety, our mind is telling us a story that is causing us fear.  And that story is often untrue.  This took a long time for me to figure out.  In High School I pretty much had a constant state of anxiety going on.  It wasn’t “about” anything.  I was just anxious and on edge all the time.  It took 11 years before I finally realized that this generalized anxiety was a fear of being unlovable.  I was constantly afraid that I would do something, or not do something, which would “prove” I was not worthy of love.  But I don’t want it to take you 11 years to figure out what you’re scared of.  Just try to name one thing you’re scared of.  It can be something that seems “too small”.  Get a partner to help you with this.  Tell them what you’re scared of.  Their instruction is to do one thing, ask you the same question over and over again “and why is that scary?”  Have them ask you that question after every answer you give for 7 minutes.  At some point in those 7 minutes you’ll probably be surprised by what you say.  That’s the story your mind is telling.

Finally, notice how anxiety involves a high amount of energy in your body.  Remember your physics class “energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but can change form”.  Ignoring that energy in your body is like trying to destroy it.  This sounds counterintuitive, but what you need to do is go into the energy.  But how?  Well notice where you feel the energy in your body.  Is it in your chest?  Your arms?  Your legs?  Your shoulders?  Where do you feel it?  Once you identify where it is in your body, allow that part of your body to just express the energy.  If it’s in your legs go for a run.  If it’s in your arms shake them out.  If it’s in your shoulders roll them.  Do something that allows the energy to change form, to be expressed and discharged.

There are lots of other ways I know of to help you reduce your anxiety.  And the problem with anxiety is it often makes it difficult for us to focus on our own.  We often need help to stay focused with any of these interventions.  If you’d like some support, please feel free to contact me. :)

KindCommunication.org is a project by a close friend of Wiki World Order, Alex Leach. WWO fully supports the study, practice, and teaching of non-violent communication as one of the core solutions which already exists.

Tragedy and Hope Media Mail / This Week’s Publications 3.2.2014

Re-posted from the amazing Tragedy and Hope Community, my favorite source for alternative thought and information in the world. Please check it out, sign up, participate, and support today!
TragedyAndHope.ning.com/group/t-h-media-mail-archive/forum/topics/tragedy-and-hope-media-mail-this-week-s-publications-3-2-2014

(Audio) Peace Revolution episode #81: Self-Confidence vs. Social Engineering

(Video) Gnostic Media episode #191: An Interview with Freeman Burt and Dr. Tom – “How to Research: Case Study – Cannabis”

(Video) James Corbett & James Evan Pilato: New World Next Week – Ukraine Set to Ignite in Civil War

(Video) The Corbett Report: Smart Tyranny: How to resist the smart grid

(Audio) The Corbett Report: William Engdahl Exposes the Western Agenda in Ukraine

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Paul Craig Roberts Connects the Dots on the Ukrainian Revolution

(Audio) Media Monarchy: @PumpUpThaVolume: #Episode100 – #HighRoad

(Audio) Media Monarchy: Trans Resister Radio interviews James Evan Pilato on the Alternativ…

(Audio) Media Monarchy: Saint Hicks: 20 Years After Death of Bill Hicks, Legend Secured

(Video) Lee Camp – MOC #290: Bill Hicks – 20 Years Since His Death, Still Speaking The Truth

(Audio) School Sucks episode #267b: Derrick J. Freeman – Our Most Popular Guest Ever (2014 Liberty Foru…

(Audio) School Sucks episode #267a: Carlos Morales – Truth, Comfort and Child Protective Services (20…

(Audio) School Sucks episode #266: The Practice of Self – Responsibility (The Six Pillars of Self-Este…

(Audio) The Meria Heller Show:
Meria With Ellen Brown

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Daniel Estulin – TransEvolution: The Coming Age of Human Deconstruc…

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Ole Dammegård – The Death Squad Network Behind the JFK Assassination

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: David Icke – The Perception Deception

Tragedy and Hope Media Mail / This Week’s Publications 2.23.2014

Re-posted from the amazing Tragedy and Hope Community, my favorite source for alternative thought and information in the world. Please check it out, sign up, participate, and support today!
TragedyAndHope.ning.com/group/t-h-media-mail-archive/forum/topics/tragedy-and-hope-media-mail-this-week-s-publications-2-23-2014

(Audio) The State of The Union and The State of Individual Liberty / Richard Grove on the Meria Heller Show
 
(Video) Gnostic Media: Bulletrpoof Podcast with Dave Asprey – The Trivium Method & Transhumanism with Jan Irvin

(Video) The Corbett Report: Unite and Conquer: Fighting Back Against the Oligarchy

(Video) The Corbett Report: The Well-Read Anarchist – An Introduction to Pierre-Joseph Proudhon

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Shawn Wilbur Introduces the Life and Work of Pierre-Joseph Proudhon

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Nicholas Lucier Raises Fluoride Awareness in Austin

(Audio) The Corbett Report: James on The Power Hour: Bitcoin Woes and Banker Deaths

(Audio) The Corbett Report: Mimi Al Laham Breaks Down the Geneva II Syrian “Peace” Talks

(Audio) Media Monarchy: @PumpUpThaVolume: Episode098 – Watch Me Now

(Audio) Media Monarchy: Geopolitiks: Eva Bartlett of InGaza on Human Rights in Palestine

(Audio) School Sucks episode ##265: Running On A Treadmill (On the Train Tracks) – Inside Public School…

(Audio) School Sucks episode #264: History Through A Cultural Lens, with Thaddeus Russell

(Video) School Sucks Project: Brett On Black Sheep Rising and Keene School Board

(Audio) The Meria Heller Show: Meria With Daniel Estulin

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Karen Hudes – Former World Bank Insider on the Corruption of the Global Elite

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Dr. Kongpop U-Yen – Space Weather Induced Natural Disasters

(Audio) Red Ice Radio: Barbara Peterson – Farmwars: The Anti-GMO Battle

(Audio) Red Ice Radio 3Fourteen: Keith Preston – 21st Century Anarchism: Anarcho – Pluralism, Radical Localism &…

Three Steps to Healing Mental Wounds – by Kind Communication

Re-posted From: http://KindCommunication.org/2014/02/23/three-steps-to-healing-mental-wounds/

Unhealed wounds are sensitive to the touch.

And while physical wounds, a cut or a scrap, heal naturally and quite quickly…mental wounds can last and last.

What’s a mental wound?  Well, it’s that moment when someone says something and suddenly you’re full of anger.  ”How dare they say that to me!”  ”What a stupid jerk!”  Or it’s that moment when something goes wrong and your internal world crumbles. “I should have known better.”  ”I’m such a mess.”  It’s the situations or types of interactions that you avoid like the plague.  Or it’s when you shut down; you wall up inside yourself, and stay hidden away until the coast is clear.

All of these reactions are symptoms of mental wounds which are still sensitive to the touch.  That’s because our natural mental healing often is interrupted and not supported.  In fact these “symptoms” are also stopping us from healing it up.  

It’s like if you cut your finger and then keep it covered in mud.  The wound only gets more infected.

It’s the same with these mental wounds.  You get hurt, and you do something you think will help like blame yourself, blame the other person, or withdraw, but it ends up being a bunch of mud on a cut finger.

But it’s okay…because unlike the finger our mental wounds can be healed at any moment.

Just the other night my partner and I got lost in a conflict.  We were reading a book aloud to each other, and had a disagreement about how to interpret a paragraph we’d read.  And what started as a simple disagreement, quickly turned into her and I completely disconnected and shut down from one another.

As I reflect upon this incident, I’m embarrassed to share that I was reacting from this wounded place of “needing” to be seen as smart, “needing” to teach, and “needing” to be right.  It startled me when I finally could see it.  It made sense that the only way I knew how to avoid feeling that pain, was to take on this role of “know it all”, this habit of “teaching to” and “dismissing dissent”.  When my opinions and interpretations were challenged as “wrong” (my perception, not my partner’s intention), I had to either feel the pain of being seen as wrong and “stupid”…or I could assert my “rightness” and my intelligence.  The later feels so much more comfortable.

How do we heal then?  How can we get to a point where these mental wounds aren’t so sensitive?

Recognize that you’re reacting to something in the past.  You’re switching to auto-pilot.  You’re acting off of an old, outdated script.  Whatever helps you see that you’re reacting to something much deeper than what’s happening in the moment.

Allow yourself to get in touch with, and accept, the pain that’s really there.  It’s a wound, it hurts!  This is usually the hardest part for people; this is often where people stop.  The reason you’ve reacted the way you have in the past is to avoid feeling the pain that’s there.  Once you stop doing the behavior, you can begin to heal, but that does mean the pain often comes up.

Gain the skills, resources, or insightful liberation that will help you be here in the moment, and not stuck in the past.  After the pain has faded away…your mind is free to explore what’s possible once the wound is healed.  You build up the once wounded muscle.  You allow new, healthier, beliefs form like fresh skin.

Finally, I share my story with you because my prayer is that you don’t spend one minute judging yourself or putting yourself down for this.  It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.  We all have these mental wounds.  I am in it with you.  Don’t be intimidated or scared to reach out for a supportive hand.

KindCommunication.org is a project by a close friend of Wiki World Order, Alex Leach. WWO fully supports the study, practice, and teaching of non-violent communication as one of the core solutions which already exists.